I have to leave my baby....

So Bristol is 11 weeks old this week. Time sure does fly. I started working again the beginning of this month. Its been an adjustment and probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Caring for a baby is a full time, nonstop, 24 hr/day job add into that doing the laundry, cooking meals & trying to keep your house clean is another monumental task. Then add in working a full time job from home plus continuing to help Ryan with ASAP and doing all billing, invoicing, & payables -- I dont have a free second in 24 hrs. Im constantly running & working from the second I wake up and when Im done Im passed out on my pillow in about 2 seconds flat. Im soo thankful that I have a job though - even if it's a pay cut from my drug rep days - I get to stay home and be with my baby. It's definately tough - especially when I have a whole bunch of conference calls and a screaming baby in the background. Yesterday I had 1 conference call that took forever. We started a little late and I had Bristol down for her nap in her swing. Well she woke up about 10 min into the call, so I had to go get her. Of course it was a conference call/webiner so I needed to be in front of my computer for the call. So I rush back to my computer and have to nurse her in my chair while be on the call & computer. Of course she finishes just before the call is going to be over & starts crying because she really needed to burp. Finally muted the call & then got off & was able to burp her. Of course my phone rings 10 seconds later & its one of the guys I work with. He's laughing cause he said he could hear my baby crying at the end! I always get called out! Thankfully, Bristol is usually pretty good and she plays a lot in her bumbo or on her play gym next to my desk. She spends a lot of time on my lap while I am on my computer too. Luckily my boss that I report to is out in Colorado - so with the time change I can finish my calls with him after 5 pm my time when Ryan is home & can take the baby if she is being fussy.
So wait -- back to my original point I have to LEAVE my baby! Basically I can count on one hand how many times I have left Bristol in the past 11 weeks and its never been for more than an hour or two. Well, I need to go to a business meeting next month for two days. It's when we were supposed to be in Florida for vacation anyways, so Ryan will have Jeanne as backup. But Im still freaking out. Im not freaking out that she won't be cared for, because I know Ryan is a great dad and Jeanne is great with babies too. Im just freaked out that I will be away from her & then I start worrying about her refusing a bottle of milk or my milk supply getting messed up and a million other things.... Ill be gone for two nights & luckily I have a huge stash of frozen breast milk so she shoud be okay there. Yes, I will point out that my baby has never had a sip of formula & Im very proud of that & hope it continues that way! I will pump while I am away from her & just freeze the milk til I get back home again. Its going to be soo strange not having a baby attached to me at all times. Since Bristol has only taken like 5 bottles of pumped milk her whole life, Im trying to get her more used to them over the next couple weeks. Hopefully, itll all work out.
And yes, I cried hysterically when I booked my flight for the meeting....