3 Months

Goal obtained

Back in the 120s again! Just barely, but who the hell cares. I actually stopped working out so much and ate more the past week because I think my supply was beginning to drop off from losing weight too quickly. I was met with a very nice suprise on the scale and my milk supply has been better the past couple days. I feel so much better and my pants are feeling better too. Id still like to drop a couple more pounds and keep working out, but it can wait until we are back from Florida. HOpefully I wont gain when we are there, but itll be warm so I can atleast walk everyday with the baby.

By the way, have I mentioned Bristol is three months old today!! I cant believe it.
Which also reminds me, I have made it to my first goal to exclusively breastfeed for three months! I cant begin to express how much harder it has been than I anticipated and I did think it was going to be very hard. But Im happy to say nothing has passed her lips except pure healthy breastmilk. My next goal is to make it to 6 months and my ultimate goal is to make it to one year so that she never has to have any formula. But we will take it one step at a time.

Shhh she's asleep....

Ill try to type quietly, Bristol just passed out in her bouncer. Have I mentioned I am the queen of multi-tasking? I have conquered the art of typing on my computer, with one leg outstretched bouncing her bouncey, while eating a snack & talking on my phone. Yes my muscles hurt from being pulled in each direction....

Anyways -- my fatty update. I lost 2 more lbs last week (week 3), so total Im down 5 lbs & 3 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I just want to lose 2 more pounds before I go to Florida in two weeks & I will be happy! I NEED to weigh in the 120s! Im working out about 6 days a week & I really cut back on my calories. Although Im getting a little nervous about not eating enough to keep my supply up so Im goin to watch that.

Have I mentioned that there is nothing more precious in the whole wide world than a sleeping baby?? If only I had the time to have her nap in my arms everyday. You cant help from smiling when you see something so peaceful.

I have to leave my baby....

So Bristol is 11 weeks old this week. Time sure does fly. I started working again the beginning of this month. Its been an adjustment and probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Caring for a baby is a full time, nonstop, 24 hr/day job add into that doing the laundry, cooking meals & trying to keep your house clean is another monumental task. Then add in working a full time job from home plus continuing to help Ryan with ASAP and doing all billing, invoicing, & payables -- I dont have a free second in 24 hrs. Im constantly running & working from the second I wake up and when Im done Im passed out on my pillow in about 2 seconds flat. Im soo thankful that I have a job though - even if it's a pay cut from my drug rep days - I get to stay home and be with my baby. It's definately tough - especially when I have a whole bunch of conference calls and a screaming baby in the background. Yesterday I had 1 conference call that took forever. We started a little late and I had Bristol down for her nap in her swing. Well she woke up about 10 min into the call, so I had to go get her. Of course it was a conference call/webiner so I needed to be in front of my computer for the call. So I rush back to my computer and have to nurse her in my chair while be on the call & computer. Of course she finishes just before the call is going to be over & starts crying because she really needed to burp. Finally muted the call & then got off & was able to burp her. Of course my phone rings 10 seconds later & its one of the guys I work with. He's laughing cause he said he could hear my baby crying at the end! I always get called out! Thankfully, Bristol is usually pretty good and she plays a lot in her bumbo or on her play gym next to my desk. She spends a lot of time on my lap while I am on my computer too. Luckily my boss that I report to is out in Colorado - so with the time change I can finish my calls with him after 5 pm my time when Ryan is home & can take the baby if she is being fussy.
So wait -- back to my original point I have to LEAVE my baby! Basically I can count on one hand how many times I have left Bristol in the past 11 weeks and its never been for more than an hour or two. Well, I need to go to a business meeting next month for two days. It's when we were supposed to be in Florida for vacation anyways, so Ryan will have Jeanne as backup. But Im still freaking out. Im not freaking out that she won't be cared for, because I know Ryan is a great dad and Jeanne is great with babies too. Im just freaked out that I will be away from her & then I start worrying about her refusing a bottle of milk or my milk supply getting messed up and a million other things.... Ill be gone for two nights & luckily I have a huge stash of frozen breast milk so she shoud be okay there. Yes, I will point out that my baby has never had a sip of formula & Im very proud of that & hope it continues that way! I will pump while I am away from her & just freeze the milk til I get back home again. Its going to be soo strange not having a baby attached to me at all times. Since Bristol has only taken like 5 bottles of pumped milk her whole life, Im trying to get her more used to them over the next couple weeks. Hopefully, itll all work out.
And yes, I cried hysterically when I booked my flight for the meeting....

Can we talk about my boobs ?

So Im officially under (just barely!) my pre-pregnancy weight. Im starting to fit into more jeans, but the whole top situation is still out of control. I have been living in nursing tanks with hoodies & tshirts. When I try to put on a normal shirt, we have two huge problems. My boobs. Size small shirts apparently do NOT work with size F cup boobs. I either look like a huge whore or I cant even get the shirt over my boobs. Its ridiculous.
And where can I find shirts that will fit me & cover my boobs?! Basically I need to stalk someone who got a boob job and doesnt dress like a porn star. This may be hard to do....

Fatty McFaterson Week 2 Recap

Week 2: Lost 1 lb, worked out 6 days out of 7. Had to take off the day of the ER visit - I was too busy freakin out to work out. Anyways, I also ate well all week except yesterday we had taco bell. But I just ate 3 tacos because I was starving and stressed from the stupid visit to the Apple Store.
So anyways - that leaves me with 5 more lbs to lose and only 3 weeks to do it in. Our FLA trip got moved up slightly. So I may have to re-assess my goals. I will be happy if I lose 3 lbs in the next 3 weeks. Its hard as hell to get this weight off. Ugh.

worst mother ever award

Goes to me today! Yea, so my baby fell on her head this morning. WHaaa?! Yea, you heard me. How much do I suck?
So its like 6:15 am I stumble into her room to nurse her. I change her diaper quick & then lay her on my lap while Im sitting in the glider. I then let go of her (bad idea!) to get my boob out for her. Thats when she decided to use her very strong legs to push off my stomach and push herself right onto the ground. headfirst. I pretty sure I had a heart attack and lost about 5 years off my life. I screamed for Ryan. Bristol started screaming immediately (which turns out was a good thing) and I immediately stuck her on my boob to nurse which immediately calmed her down. Now what?! Hysteria new mom panic sets in and I text Lara to ask what do I do? I dont bothering calling the pediatrician since I know Ill just get a recording and I demand we take her straight to ER. Despite Ryan trying to explain that babies bounce or fall a lot or something, that I dont want to hear, we get her in the car and off to the ER.
Less than an hour later, we are on our way out of the ER because she is perfectly fine according to the doctor & nurses. The doctor was literally with her for 3 minutes, but assured us this happens & she is fine. But this shouldn't happen to my baby!
So I've spent the rest of the day feeling like total & complete crap & staring at her head trying to figure out if it is mishapen or lumpy. I suck.
Bristol, if you ever read this, you can probably make me feel guilty enough to buy you whatever you want....